Friday, April 4, 2014

Balancing Needs

I think for most moms there comes a point when we realize the tricky choices in life aren't between the question of our own needs vs. the needs of our families--it's the fact that members of our family have needs that we can't meet simultaneously.  One kid needs to get to kindergarten each day at the same time as another needs to nap.  One needs help with homework while another wants you to jump on the trampoline with her.  One wants to sleep cuddled up next to you, but your hubby is tired of getting kicked in the face all night and really would appreciate some cuddle time too....  What's a wife/mom to do?!?!?
As I look back on these many (daily, sometimes hourly) opportunities for balancing needs, I still wonder what the solution is.  It really is one of the hardest ongoing struggles we have as moms.  I remember times when the family needed to eat, and I was fixing dinner in the kitchen while verbally giving a piano lesson to a kid in the other room.  The piano lesson consisted of me yelling words like, "Your bottom note needs to move 1/2 step up!" or "Slow that last measure down--those are half notes!"  Sometimes the kids don't have the clean clothes they need, because I've been so busy addressing other needs--for days. =/
I remember a conversation with a sweet friend years ago.  She had grown up in a family of 9 children, and had recently been talking with her mom, who asked her, "Kristen, was I ever a good mom?  All I remember is doing laundry, and more laundry, and more laundry!  Did I ever do anything else with you?"
Kristen's answer was something I'll never forget, and she cried as she said it to me.  She told her sweet mother, "Mom, you gave all of us kids the greatest gift you could ever have given us.  You gave us each other."  Kristen went on to tell me about her relationships with her siblings; that they're her very best friends, and that she can't imagine life without them.
I've thought of this so many times, when I've wondered how I could possibly ever meet all of my family's needs.  I hope that my choice to bring six children into this world, so that they could all have each other, outweighs the fact that with that choice comes all the demands of running a full household (and not keeping up very well, I might add).
I watch my kids interact with one another, and I see their love for each other.  I see them tease and annoy each other, and then be inseparable best buds.  My struggle to keep up with the demands isn't something I expect to change anytime soon, but I'm so grateful for a wise friend who has helped me put it all in perspective and see the big picture.  Some needs around here will continue to go unmet, despite my best efforts.  But if I accomplish nothing else in this life, Rob and I gave our kids each other.