At This Time of Thanksgiving

As I've thought about the many things I'm thankful for, and with Christmas right around the corner, I want to thank my parents for one of the greatest gifts they gave me--a gift they gave me by what they DIDN'T give me.
Growing up, we didn't have an excess of money. We always had what we needed, and much of what we wanted; I don't remember ever feeling like anything was missing. But we didn't ever spend a lot on clothes, home decor, nice cars, etc. We bought what was necessary, and enjoyed some "fun" things (on a small scale--like going out for ice cream) once-in-awhile.
As a parent now, I realize what a challenge it is to raise children in this world where entertainment and indulgence of every kind is but a credit card swipe away. It can be so tempting to buy every toy, every vacation, every happy meal, every this and that for our little ones; and often we're made to feel that if our children don't have these things, it's because we don't love them enough to properly "provide" for them. It is much easier to indulge ourselves and our children, than it is to exercise restraint. Truly loving our children requires us to hold back.
I was recently trying to find a favorite Conference talk that addressed this issue--but, sadly, I don't know who the speaker was. In my search, however, I still found a couple of quotes I like:
In 2001, Carol B. Thomas stated that, "We must avoid saturating our children with material things. We may deprive a child of enjoyment when we give him too much." Isn't it interesting that the world would have us believe that we're depriving our children by what we don't give them, when in reality we run the risk of depriving them of true joy by what we do give them.
I have a good friend whose husband has been out of work for almost a year. Their Christmas this year will be very small. They've always lived on a tight budget, and she told me about another small Christmas they had: She said she was worried, as she knew of other families who lived around them who would be enjoying new quads, new video game systems, etc. on Christmas morning, and she wasn't sure how her kids were going to feel when they saw what all their friends had gotten. When Christmas morning came, they opened presents and enjoyed some family time, then went outside to play with their neighborhood friends. After checking out their friends' new things, her kids ran back home and said, "This is the best Christmas EVER!!!" Seeing everyone else's STUFF hadn't phased them at all. They were grateful for what they had received, and never seemed to feel that anything was unfair. This quote by Richard G. Scott perfectly sums up the example that was set by these sweet kids: "Children teach us how to find joy even under the most challenging circumstances. Children haven't yet learned to be depressed by concentrating on the things they don't have."
As I think about my Christmas experiences as a child, I remember two gifts: One was a little blue Stomper volkswagen that was in my stocking; the other was the game "Operation," that I had been wanting for MONTHS--maybe years. My parents kept Christmas very simple, and I will be forever indebted to them for that.
As a mom now, I want more than anything for my own children to find joy in everyday life. I don't want them to live life constantly in search of the next exciting purchase or the next new upgrade; only to be left, time after time, feeling empty. I pray that they will find joy in nature, uplifting music, good literature, and most of all, truth. I hope that they will find satisfaction in activities like hiking, playing simple games, chatting with loved ones, accomplishing goals...
I'm so grateful for parents who taught me to find joy in simple things, and I hope I can manage to pass this wonderful gift on to my children.

THANK YOU, MOM & DAD! I LOVE YOU!!!

A Good Read

I recently finished reading the book Fahrenheit 451, the "Queen Creek Read" for Sept./Oct. Very thought-provoking. Just thought I'd pass along my recommendation, in case anyone's looking for a good book. It's by Ray Bradbury, and you can find it in the science-fiction section. (Yes, science fiction!!!) If I hadn't already been reading it before I realized it was sci-fi, I'm sure I never would have given it a chance. So glad I didn't know beforehand!!! ;-) I'd love to quote some parts here, but I won't... Anyway, GREAT BOOK!!!

I'm Gonna Miss This

Last night at bedtime Chase was restless, and since Rob was out in the garage and not coming in right away I decided to bring the little guy into bed with me for the time being. As I've learned to do with all our kids, I laid by him with my eyes closed, so as not to make it a playtime. It wasn't a punishment either; just time to be calm. He was still squirming, turning this way and that, trying to get comfortable. When he finally got comfy, with the covers just right, and seemed to be settled, I laid there taking in all his little actions, and decided I really should write this down. He's my baby, and I'll soon forget the details of what it was like during these years of having little ones so often next to me in bed--these years that, I have to admit sadly, I've sometimes looked forward to having be over with; these years of waking up with an aching shoulder from sleeping with my arm straight up, out of the way, because a little person was right up close to me all night...

First I began to feel light, ever-so-gentle pokes of a little finger on my cheeks and forehead, then eyelids. He really wasn't trying to wake me--and I wasn't asleep anyway; his fingers just needed a little something to do while his body started to relax. Then I felt a little arm reach around my neck, and a couple little fingers began feeling the bones on the back of my neck. Soon the other arm followed, but around the other side, so it had to make its way between the pillow and my neck, which took a little work for him. (I still stayed "asleep," knowing that all of this was part of his process of winding down. I knew if I laughed or talked to him it would just complicate the ritual.)

While his arms were around my neck, his little face was, of course, just a couple inches from mine. It was so hard not to peek at him as I laid there wondering what he might be looking at or thinking about. His little fingers kept quietly studying the top of my spine. I could feel his little breaths on my face, and here and there he would quietly mumble a word or two. I'm sure his mind was going over and over the day's events, and his thoughts sometimes came out in words. Nothing I could make any sense of; no complete thoughts, just little half-words.

Then a big yawn with a little sigh on the end. Then slowly the arms came out from behind my neck and were folded up softly by his head.

A few seconds later I felt a little foot squirm its way between my thigh and the bed. I felt a slightly scratchy little toenail--it really has been awhile since I trimmed them... :( Then the foot got pulled back out, and then put back again at a slightly different angle. Much better. Or maybe not... The foot got pulled out yet again, and turned slightly for a third try. Finally he pulled it out again and decided its final resting place needed to be between my thighs. And there it stayed.

My sweet little cuddle-buddy, joining me just until my Big Cuddle-Buddy came to bed. As much as I've looked forward to consistently having just two of us in the bed, I have to admit that I REALLY AM GONNA MISS THIS.

More Random...

...And, while I'm on the topic of RANDOM, I had a funny memory come to me recently, and thought just for the heck of it I'd post it. So I guess here's as good as anywhere...
Blake and Spencer have spent their whole lives being told how much they look alike. When they were little, strangers always asked if they were twins, or commented about how much they looked alike. They still get comments even now.
One day when Spencer was about 4 he asked me, "Mom, how did you figure out that me and Blake weren't twins?"
I can't even type this story now--all these years later--without laughing all over again! (And, yes, feeling stupid, since I'm sitting here by myself at the computer!) Anyway, thank goodness we have kids to keep the humor alive!!! ;-)
And... excuse me for being so RANDOM!

~~FYI, this picture was taken on a Fathers & Sons Outing in 2004. I was looking for a picture I could post with Blake & Spencer in it together--and this was the first one I came across. I'm sad that the blogging world didn't exist back then (did it??? Well, at least not in my life...)--so I'm going to occasionally throw some of our family's past on here--RANDOMLY!!! ;-)

Random...

My Kaybree girl cracks me up!!! Her most recent new word is RANDOM. Quite often, her statements will start off with, "Okay, this is really random, but..." so then I'm laughing before she even tells me what it is she wants to say! She's WAY too young for a lot of the phrases--and facial expressions--she comes up with... but I've learned that's a part of having teenage siblings. She's definitely 7 going on 15!

The Day Has Come... Again

Well, another sad day has arrived. This morning as I was writing the daily lunch notes (okay, maybe not always daily... but I try!), Spencer let me know that it would be okay with him if I didn't put one in his lunch. He was sweet about it. He let me down easy. It was obvious that he was hesitant to tell me what was on his mind. He simply said, "You don't have to put a note in mine." Then he added, "Sometimes it's kind-of embarrassing."

To be honest, I've been expecting this to happen anytime now--after all, this ain't my first rodeo!!! I've been through this twice before. Sometimes it happens when you're driving them to school and realize they're trying really hard not to be seen with you. Sometimes it happens when they don't want a kiss anymore--just a hug will do (and they'd really prefer to skip the hug as well). Sometimes they decide they're too old to listen to bedtime stories (which, by the way, is not allowed in my home--there is NO SUCH THING as being too old to be read to!!!). I think for most kids it's all of the above--just in different orders.

Sometimes I feel a little bit bad as I go on doing things (like lunch notes) that I'm pretty sure they no longer want. But I wait for them to bring it up. I would never want to suggest to them that they're outgrowing these things, just in case they really do still like them. I don't know what will be next on Spencer's list--I'm pretty sure he's not interested in having me come eat lunch with him at school anymore... Sixth grade is a pretty significant turning point.

I'm grateful that, so-far, they've all been kind about it. I think they might be too afraid to say it like it is, for fear that I'll get sad & mushy on them. And I'm actually arriving at the point of starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel! It seems that at some point it comes full-circle, and suddenly they like you again! In fact, I'm going on a field trip with Ashlee tomorrow! IN FRONT OF HER FRIENDS!!! Who'da thunkit???

Love Deeply

I have a good friend, Laura, who taught me something recently. She expressed some things that are exactly how I've felt for a long time. She said that she's at a point in her life where she doesn't feel that she has a lot of time for socializing with friends (I can totally relate!!!) She was asked to teach an Enrichment class recently on the topic of "Live Simply~Laugh Often~Love Deeply." As she prepared to teach this she said that the phrase LOVE DEEPLY came to have great meaning for her. She came to understand that, although she doesn't have a lot of time to give to very many people (yes, this is me--TOTALLY!), she can love deeply the person she is with at the moment.

I had a whole new energy come into me as she said this! For years I've felt so overwhelmed and saddened by the fact that I just have so many people I love, love, love, yet don't seem to "have time for." I'm not okay with this, and I never will be. But to think that, if I do get the rare opportunity to spend a few moments with a cherished friend, I can make that time the best it can possibly be by making sure I love deeply, gave me a renewed perspective.

One of the qualities I love about Laura is that she gets right to the point. (She calls it being nosy, but I would argue.) I see in her a true love and concern for others. She has simply chosen not to waste her time on "small talk," but to get to the heart of the matter. Her time is limited--as is all of ours, as busy moms--so she asks questions quickly and then responds accordingly.

I know I don't possess the same qualities Laura does, and I may never have it in me to be direct in my conversations; but in my own way--whatever that may be--I hope I can implement some ways to let others know what their friendship means in my life. Whether I just run into a friend in the store, or we're getting together with our kids at the park, I hope that I can learn how to LOVE DEEPLY in all my relationships!!!

It's so great to be taught valuable lessons by wonderful friends!

Update!

Just wanted to quickly report that the Tooth Fairy DID, in fact, come through for our Emmee! Amazingly, it even happened to be THE VERY NIGHT that I had written my desperate post in an attempt for a referral. (Maybe Ms. TF is a blogger? Anyone know???) Anyway, somehow she apparently was "clued in" to the awful state we were in--and she got the situation resolved. So, we've decided she's a keeper... at least for now. We're trying to forgive and forget, and give her another chance. But you can bet if this happens again she's getting THE BOOT!!! And it WON'T be pretty!!!
Thanks SO MUCH to all of you who offered help when we were at a complete loss. It's great to have good friends! ;-)

Anyone Know of a Good Tooth Fairy?!?

Hey, just thought I'd ask around... I have SO HAD IT with our Tooth Fairy!!! Two nights ago my poor Em was brave enough to pull out her tooth that had been sticking out crooked for days... weeks, maybe... wrote her name/date/info on a note as instructed... the whole bit... and our LAME tooth fairy has not shown!!! This is just absolutely unacceptable. And this is NOT the first time she's pulled this on us! It's really getting out of hand. Seriously, if she was going on vacation or something, there are forms to fill out for that. For cryin' out loud, she's got to let someone know these things!!! Soooo... to all you moms out there who might be able to give us a good referral--we're ready to tell our Tooth Fairy to PACK HER BAGS!!! Any help would be greatly appreciated. We're feeling very desperate here. (The guilt is almost unbearable!) Please respond A.S.A.P.!!!

Song of the Day

Just thought I'd share the song Chase & I made up on our bike ride this morning. We had gone a little too far from home, and he was thirsty, so we wanted to find a faster way back. We took a dirt road, that he ended up saying was the longest road EVER. So in our boredom we came up with this--(To the tune of "I Hope They Call Me on a Mission"):

I hope that we can find a shortcut,

To get us quickly to our house.

We just might see some snakes and lizards,

And gophers, rats, and birds,

And possibly a mouse!!!

Please don't roll your eyes. We were pretty proud of that!!! ;-)

Simple Joys

Years ago I heard a speaker in General Conference counsel parents to give our children "things that money cannot buy." I've had this as one of my (many) mottos for years now, and I hope and pray constantly that after all is said and done, despite this overindulgent world we live in, my children will realize that it's the little things in life--the things that don't cost a lot of money--that are really the most valuable.
Today's "simple joy" for me was a bike ride with my Chaser-Boy. He's my buddy, my right-hand-man, now that everyone else is in school all day. My wonderful hubby fixed my bike tire last night so we could ride the bike with the baby seat on it. So, after we got everyone else off for the day, Chase & I set out for some fun. The first words out of his mouth as we started down the street were, "Yih! That's what I'm talkin' about!!!"
As we rode along we talked about why a sidewalk is called a sidewalk, we thought of words that rhyme, he played "drums" on my back for awhile, we had fun watching lizards run frantically out of bushes as we passed them, and after waving to a stranger we passed he informed me that, "All those persons in cars is a Child of God." He told me he would like to "do some jumps," so I found some bumpy areas of a dirt road to go on =), and we also decided some sprinklers looked good for riding through. Unfortunately, we didn't have much success trying to ride up the grass hill they were on. We suddenly came to a dead stop, and fell over!!! Thank goodness we were on a slope, so it wasn't as far a fall. Chase thought it was hilarious!!! He'll probably ask if we can do that again next time!

These are the moments life is all about... Finding joy in the simple things!

Being the Youngest

Ashlee had a fun opportunity a few weeks ago to hold a 4 month old baby girl during Sacrament Meeting. (One of her YW leaders was speaking in church, and her husband would be busy with the 2 year old, so she asked Ashlee to keep the baby.) Ashlee was loving it!

Ashlee was next to the aisle, and Chase was more toward the middle, with Rob, me, and other kids in-between, so it was a little while into the meeting before he noticed the baby. He started to make his way along in front of all of us, and I thought he was coming to sit with me. I put my arms out to him, but he didn't even glance my way. I realized his eyes were fixed on only one thing: THE BABY. He could hardly make his way over everyone's feet, church bags, etc. that were in his way, because he wasn't going to look down for a second. His attention was 100% on THE BABY.

He was finally a couple feet from her and he just stopped and stared at Ashlee with this baby. After a few seconds he turned to me and said, "Where did she get THAT?"

It was so cute! I didn't know whether he was hoping he could find one too, or whether he was trying to figure out how Ashlee had one of these things that only Moms usually had. Even though he's our baby, I've always figured he was around other babies enough (cousins, etc.) that it's not too strange a concept to him. But watching him with this baby made me realize that he really doesn't get a lot of interaction with babies, especially not like kids do with a sibling.

After he took it all in for a minute, and we explained the situation to him, he plopped himself down next to her and played with her. He was fascinated as she gripped his finger, he giggled at her little sudden movements, he loved having her stare at him... He was in love!!!

So Sassy!!!

These are our miniature horses, Crystal and Sassy. We've had them a little over 2 years (they lived at G/G Nelson's until we had a place for them). They roam the backyard and look forward to having the kids bring them an occasional carrot or apple.
A couple weeks ago one of our pieces of pigwire fell down and Sassy got out. (Sassy is slightly shorter than Crystal, so apparently Crystal couldn't make it under.) Sassy didn't go far--she was just on the other side, but unfortunately we were needing to leave and couldn't leave this situation the way it was. Kaybree was a HUGE help. After we fixed the pigwire (hence the red rope holding it in place), she lured Sassy back in with an apple while I held the gate and kept Crystal in. I might have been there for hours if it weren't for the help of my little Kabes!!!

Peter and the Wolf

In February, Emmee & I went on her 3rd Grade Field Trip to Peter and the Wolf. It was a fun event, and I was in charge of six little sweeties. (Some other moms weren't so lucky!) The bus rides consisted of lots of those hand-clapping rhyme-thingy's that you do with your BFF (classic 3rd grade!), and of course TONS of giggles! On the way back to the school one of the girls commented that it would have been better if it was a movie. I took the opportunity to explain that Peter and the Wolf was designed to allow the audience to use imagination to picture the events of the story. I then attempted to have a teaching moment and ask each girl about her interpretation of the story. I asked Emmee what color hair her Peter had. She said it was brown with a white tail. After a brief moment of picturing a rebellious little kid with a bleached, braided ponytail, running through the woods with a gun, and wondering what in the world would cause Emmee to imagine Peter that way, we finally figured out that she thought the whole time that this story was about Peter Cottontail--yes, the bunny!!! =) I almost fell off the bus seat laughing!
Well, so much for teaching moments and encouraging kids to use their imaginations! Maybe imagination doesn't exist in our world anymore... BUT... we still had fun!!!

Arrow of Light

Spencer recently earned his Arrow of Light award, which is the highest award a cub scout can earn. (Yes, he's now in 11 yr old scouts--I admit I'm behind on my blogging...) Anyway, Spencer got to have an arrow painted on his head by Dad (Mom had the all-important job of holding up his bangs), and he was honored in front of the other cub scouts for all his efforts. He really worked hard to finish up his requirements for his Webelos badge and his Arrow of Light. Way to go, Spencer!!!