Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Miracle on Oakley Drive
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Friends
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Randolph (Arizona Training Center)
The youth from our stake were invited to go to the Arizona Training Center today, to spend time with the people who live there. They are severely disabled individuals, and some have been there since the 1950s when the Center opened. Since half of our family would be going, and the youth leaders had been told that younger family members were welcome, we decided to take the whole family.
After an orientation meeting, everyone headed out on the grounds to gather our Friends from their homes, and bring them to the gathering hall. It worked out that about 2 youth would be with one Friend.
We quickly came to realize that we were experiencing a great opportunity, a true privilege. Rather than blessing these people's lives by being there to help them, they were blessing our lives, simply by allowing us to spend time with them. As the director put it, "Today you will have the opportunity to make celestial friends."
Rob, Spencer, Emmee, Kaybree, Chase, & I were assigned to Marie, a woman probably in her 50's, with Downs Syndrome. She was in a wheelchair, which Spencer pushed from her home to the hall. They had told us that the Friends look forward to "Primary" all week, and it was obvious that Marie knew where we were going. Down the last sidewalk heading toward the building, she started moving her body forward and back, and making noise like a motor, letting us know that we needed to move faster. =) She also had a HUGE smile on her face in anticipation of what was to come.
When we got to the hall, Marie knew just where to go. She sits on the front row of the auditorium chairs, in the yellow section. She maneuvered from her wheelchair to one of the chairs, then proceeded to let Emmee and Kaybree know IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS that they would be sitting on either side of her. (She let them know by yanking their arms and pulling them into the chairs!) We all have to communicate right? =)
Marie is cross-eyed, has a prominent underbite, and doesn't hear well. Her favorite activities are those that involve loud noise, and especially noises that she can feel inside her ear canal. She loved it if we banged on the chairs, clapped loudly right next to her ear (and she favored her left ear), or made loud blowing or growling sounds in her ear. At one point she took my hand and banged my rings against the metal fasteners on the chair. My hand was all red by the time I got it back from her. =) The kids thought it was fun when the volunteers told them that this was their chance to be ROWDY in Primary! For Maggie, the rowdier the better!
One of Marie's first "requests" after we got into the hall was for Emmee to make a loud "UUUUUUUOOOHHHHHHH" sound in her ear. She made her wishes known by making the sound herself, then turning her ear toward Emmee. At first Emmee wasn't sure what to do, but we helped her figure it out and then she complied. As we were all still becoming accustomed to Marie's wishes, this was especially hilarious. Emmee was definitely out of her comfort zone, her eyes glancing all around to see who might be staring at her as she made this funny, LOUD growling/groaning sound! But Marie was THRILLED, and we all knew that was all that mattered. =) Of course by the end we were all doing crazy, loud things for her, without a thought of who was watching or what they thought. We had forgotten about ourselves by then; it was all about Marie.
We had also been told beforehand that Marie doesn't like to have anyone sit next to her. She always wants the chairs on either side of her empty, so she can hit them and make noise. She also doesn't like males, and makes them sit at least two chairs away. But for some reason she changed the rules for us. Even Spencer was allowed to sit by her for a few minutes!
Marie had a cute way of letting people know when she was finished with them. After Spencer had been sitting by her for awhile, she suddenly pushed on his back, then when he stood up she pushed his bum in the direction she wanted him to go. Then she replaced him with Kaybree by pulling on Kaybree's arm and plopping her into the chair. (She also called Lane Bourgeous over and "requested" that he blow and make loud noises in her ear--and then she promptly sent him away when she was finished with him. She's probably the only person who's ever been able to push Lane around!) ;)
Marie wasn't the only CELESTIAL FRIEND we got to make that day. Sally fell in love with Chase--repeatedly. Sally is one of the "old-timers" at the Center. She has "raised" just about everyone else there. She wanders around with her walker, checking on everyone throughout the hall. Each time she would pass by us, she would hurry (as quickly as she could) over to Chase and mumble, "Da baby?" Even though it was hard to understand her, she always wanted to know his age and who he belonged to. One time she said, "Boo!" to him, and he laughed. Then the next time she came around we told him to say, "Boo!" to her. When he did it she thought that was so funny!
One man who was walking around came up to Rob and grabbed his nose--pretty hard. Rob was looking another direction when the man approached him, so it especially caught him off guard. I would have loved to have a picture of that!
Just a few chairs over from us and all our racket was a quieter, calmer woman with long, gray hair. She was probably at least 80 years old, and she quietly held a life-size doll in her arms. We were told by the workers that this woman truly believes she is a mother, and she loves and nurtures her dolls just like a mother nurtures her children. As I watched her hug and rock her doll, I couldn't help thinking of all the mothers in the world who fail to find joy in motherhood, and yet here is this woman who would give anything to be a mother. I am so grateful for the knowledge I have that lets me know that this wonderful woman will have the opportunity, throughout eternity, to put her deepest desires into action, as a true mother. I believe her rewards will be far greater than even the greatest rewards she could have experienced in this life.
There was also a woman who loved to yell out her excitement. She was so, so happy--about everything! And she called quite a few people "Martha." She would spot someone across the hall and rush over to them, screaming her excitement as she went, and hug them. Often her next phrase would be, "What happened?!?" as if they had not visited in awhile--but not in an angry way at all; simply letting them know she missed them (even if it had only been a few minutes since she last saw them). =) Watching her, the thought occurred to me that if "men are that they might have joy," then she is way ahead of the game! I'm sure she has been joyful her entire life, unlike the rest of us who have had to fumble and stumble our way around for awhile before realizing that finding joy is a choice.
The volunteers explained to us that the program is the same every Sunday: Songs are sung in the same order, the residents sit in the same places, etc. Structure is very important, and the residents trust that everything will be just as they expect. The volunteers told us that there are several people there who are completely nonverbal. They can't sing the songs or participate like some of the others can, but they listen and they recognize the familiar songs sung week after week. The last two songs of the program are, "My Heavenly Father Loves Me" and "I Am a Child of God." There are three nonverbal individuals who cry each Sunday as they hear "My Heavenly Father Loves Me," because they know that means Primary is about to end.
I realized again today something I've learned before: That the people we often see as being "disadvantaged" in one way or another are often, in fact, the ones who actually have huge advantages over the rest of us. It's the mentally disabled individuals who are usually carefree and happy about everything; they love everyone; they see each day as an opportunity to find excitement in whatever comes along. The physically disabled often decide early-on that life will be as good as they make it--unlike the rest of us who are constantly distracted by our aims for perfection of one kind or another, repeatedly disappointed that we can't "have it all."
Today was a perfect way to set the tone for this Holiday season. It had nothing to do with present-wrapping, or rushing around to store after store, or the big man in the red suit. It had to do with those things that Christmas is really all about: It had to do with love, joy, and service. I truly pray for the day when Christmas can remain that simple.
Monday, November 16, 2009
At This Time of Thanksgiving
Growing up, we didn't have an excess of money. We always had what we needed, and much of what we wanted; I don't remember ever feeling like anything was missing. But we didn't ever spend a lot on clothes, home decor, nice cars, etc. We bought what was necessary, and enjoyed some "fun" things (on a small scale--like going out for ice cream) once-in-awhile.
As a parent now, I realize what a challenge it is to raise children in this world where entertainment and indulgence of every kind is but a credit card swipe away. It can be so tempting to buy every toy, every vacation, every happy meal, every this and that for our little ones; and often we're made to feel that if our children don't have these things, it's because we don't love them enough to properly "provide" for them. It is much easier to indulge ourselves and our children, than it is to exercise restraint. Truly loving our children requires us to hold back.
I was recently trying to find a favorite Conference talk that addressed this issue--but, sadly, I don't know who the speaker was. In my search, however, I still found a couple of quotes I like:
In 2001, Carol B. Thomas stated that, "We must avoid saturating our children with material things. We may deprive a child of enjoyment when we give him too much." Isn't it interesting that the world would have us believe that we're depriving our children by what we don't give them, when in reality we run the risk of depriving them of true joy by what we do give them.
I have a good friend whose husband has been out of work for almost a year. Their Christmas this year will be very small. They've always lived on a tight budget, and she told me about another small Christmas they had: She said she was worried, as she knew of other families who lived around them who would be enjoying new quads, new video game systems, etc. on Christmas morning, and she wasn't sure how her kids were going to feel when they saw what all their friends had gotten. When Christmas morning came, they opened presents and enjoyed some family time, then went outside to play with their neighborhood friends. After checking out their friends' new things, her kids ran back home and said, "This is the best Christmas EVER!!!" Seeing everyone else's STUFF hadn't phased them at all. They were grateful for what they had received, and never seemed to feel that anything was unfair. This quote by Richard G. Scott perfectly sums up the example that was set by these sweet kids: "Children teach us how to find joy even under the most challenging circumstances. Children haven't yet learned to be depressed by concentrating on the things they don't have."
As I think about my Christmas experiences as a child, I remember two gifts: One was a little blue Stomper volkswagen that was in my stocking; the other was the game "Operation," that I had been wanting for MONTHS--maybe years. My parents kept Christmas very simple, and I will be forever indebted to them for that.
As a mom now, I want more than anything for my own children to find joy in everyday life. I don't want them to live life constantly in search of the next exciting purchase or the next new upgrade; only to be left, time after time, feeling empty. I pray that they will find joy in nature, uplifting music, good literature, and most of all, truth. I hope that they will find satisfaction in activities like hiking, playing simple games, chatting with loved ones, accomplishing goals...
I'm so grateful for parents who taught me to find joy in simple things, and I hope I can manage to pass this wonderful gift on to my children.
THANK YOU, MOM & DAD! I LOVE YOU!!!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
A Good Read
I'm Gonna Miss This
Last night at bedtime Chase was restless, and since Rob was out in the garage and not coming in right away I decided to bring the little guy into bed with me for the time being. As I've learned to do with all our kids, I laid by him with my eyes closed, so as not to make it a playtime. It wasn't a punishment either; just time to be calm. He was still squirming, turning this way and that, trying to get comfortable. When he finally got comfy, with the covers just right, and seemed to be settled, I laid there taking in all his little actions, and decided I really should write this down. He's my baby, and I'll soon forget the details of what it was like during these years of having little ones so often next to me in bed--these years that, I have to admit sadly, I've sometimes looked forward to having be over with; these years of waking up with an aching shoulder from sleeping with my arm straight up, out of the way, because a little person was right up close to me all night...
First I began to feel light, ever-so-gentle pokes of a little finger on my cheeks and forehead, then eyelids. He really wasn't trying to wake me--and I wasn't asleep anyway; his fingers just needed a little something to do while his body started to relax. Then I felt a little arm reach around my neck, and a couple little fingers began feeling the bones on the back of my neck. Soon the other arm followed, but around the other side, so it had to make its way between the pillow and my neck, which took a little work for him. (I still stayed "asleep," knowing that all of this was part of his process of winding down. I knew if I laughed or talked to him it would just complicate the ritual.)
While his arms were around my neck, his little face was, of course, just a couple inches from mine. It was so hard not to peek at him as I laid there wondering what he might be looking at or thinking about. His little fingers kept quietly studying the top of my spine. I could feel his little breaths on my face, and here and there he would quietly mumble a word or two. I'm sure his mind was going over and over the day's events, and his thoughts sometimes came out in words. Nothing I could make any sense of; no complete thoughts, just little half-words.
Then a big yawn with a little sigh on the end. Then slowly the arms came out from behind my neck and were folded up softly by his head.
A few seconds later I felt a little foot squirm its way between my thigh and the bed. I felt a slightly scratchy little toenail--it really has been awhile since I trimmed them... :( Then the foot got pulled back out, and then put back again at a slightly different angle. Much better. Or maybe not... The foot got pulled out yet again, and turned slightly for a third try. Finally he pulled it out again and decided its final resting place needed to be between my thighs. And there it stayed.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
More Random...
Blake and Spencer have spent their whole lives being told how much they look alike. When they were little, strangers always asked if they were twins, or commented about how much they looked alike. They still get comments even now.
One day when Spencer was about 4 he asked me, "Mom, how did you figure out that me and Blake weren't twins?"
I can't even type this story now--all these years later--without laughing all over again! (And, yes, feeling stupid, since I'm sitting here by myself at the computer!) Anyway, thank goodness we have kids to keep the humor alive!!! ;-)
And... excuse me for being so RANDOM!
Random...
Thursday, October 1, 2009
The Day Has Come... Again
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Love Deeply
Update!
Thanks SO MUCH to all of you who offered help when we were at a complete loss. It's great to have good friends! ;-)
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Anyone Know of a Good Tooth Fairy?!?
Friday, August 21, 2009
Song of the Day
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Simple Joys
Today's "simple joy" for me was a bike ride with my Chaser-Boy. He's my buddy, my right-hand-man, now that everyone else is in school all day. My wonderful hubby fixed my bike tire last night so we could ride the bike with the baby seat on it. So, after we got everyone else off for the day, Chase & I set out for some fun. The first words out of his mouth as we started down the street were, "Yih! That's what I'm talkin' about!!!"
As we rode along we talked about why a sidewalk is called a sidewalk, we thought of words that rhyme, he played "drums" on my back for awhile, we had fun watching lizards run frantically out of bushes as we passed them, and after waving to a stranger we passed he informed me that, "All those persons in cars is a Child of God." He told me he would like to "do some jumps," so I found some bumpy areas of a dirt road to go on =), and we also decided some sprinklers looked good for riding through. Unfortunately, we didn't have much success trying to ride up the grass hill they were on. We suddenly came to a dead stop, and fell over!!! Thank goodness we were on a slope, so it wasn't as far a fall. Chase thought it was hilarious!!! He'll probably ask if we can do that again next time!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Being the Youngest
Thursday, March 12, 2009
So Sassy!!!
A couple weeks ago one of our pieces of pigwire fell down and Sassy got out. (Sassy is slightly shorter than Crystal, so apparently Crystal couldn't make it under.) Sassy didn't go far--she was just on the other side, but unfortunately we were needing to leave and couldn't leave this situation the way it was. Kaybree was a HUGE help. After we fixed the pigwire (hence the red rope holding it in place), she lured Sassy back in with an apple while I held the gate and kept Crystal in. I might have been there for hours if it weren't for the help of my little Kabes!!!
Peter and the Wolf
Well, so much for teaching moments and encouraging kids to use their imaginations! Maybe imagination doesn't exist in our world anymore... BUT... we still had fun!!!
Arrow of Light
Dr. Dad
He hung out on the couch til Rob got home to help us deal with the situation. Unfortunately, fish hooks can only go one direction... so Rob broke the news to Spencer that the hook would have to be pushed the rest of the way through. Chase was very sympathetic--and very interested--as he watched Spencer's bravery. No picture could really do justice to what Spencer had to endure (if you click on this picture and look closely at Spencer's face, it will give you a small glimpse, though). I started to offer some advice from my experiences in labor (relax... breathe in deep... breathe out slowly...) but then I just decided to shut up. =) Spencer has again shown us that he is one tough kid!!!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
B.A.D.D.
(And NO, this wasn't the post I was getting on here to do! Maybe I'll get to that tomorrow...?) AAAAGH! Too much fun!!!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
My Ashlee
The other moment we had last week was late one night, as I was attempting to help her finish a Romeo & Juliet assignment for her English class. The assignment was to rewrite a portion of the story as if it took place in the '70's. As we looked up some '70's lingo online, we were busting up over Romeo & Juliet using terms like "bogus," "spiffy," "totally," and "Rock-on!!!" I tried to get her to have Juliet ask Romeo if he had "let a gasser" (that term was on the list we found online =)), but she said her teacher told them to keep it appropriate. =) We were dying--it was so funny!!! Rob was in the other room watching TV, and he (later) told me that he had to mute the show for a moment and just listen to us. I guess it was quite a hoot. Sorry if you had to be there.... I just had to share!